Thunder

For some reason, thunder and lightening scares me. It's like being alone in the strangers house and it's dark. But not really..

I had a really good day with Michelle, David, and Rachel yesterday. I learned a lot about them and got to know them better. We also saw the movie Ghost of Girlfriends Past. There was this one part that said you can't fully get over someone until someone comes along and you start to care about them more. That made me think a lot. Maybe I shouldn't wait to get over him, and start moving on to someone new? I'm not sure if I'm ready though.

I was talking to Nicholas and he said that our problem is we get too attached too young. We shouldn't have such long and serious relationships. Maybe he is right. I hate how I am letting this ruin my summer..again.

Everyone says Andrew and I should go out. Maybe if he wasn't such a dick we would. I'm good though. I don't want to be with anyone like that. It was so embarrassing though :|. He does have a girlfriend but he touches me so much. It's like meeeeh..

I'm chillen with Jessica, David, and Camron today. I'm excited. :]. Really excited.

This song describes me so well, and how I feel.
/:


If you be my star
I'll be your sky
you can hide underneath me and come out at night
when I turn jet black and you show off your light
I live to let you shine
I live to let you shine

but you can skyrocket away from me
and never come back if you find another galaxy
far from here with more room to fly
just leave me your stardust to remember you by

if you be my boat
I'll be your sea
a depth of pure blue just to probe curiosity
ebbing and flowing and pushed by a breeze
I live to make you free
I live to make you free

but you can set sail to the west if you want to
and past the horizon till I can't even see you
far from here where the beaches are wide
just leave me your wake to remember you by

if you be my star
I'll be your sky
you can hide underneath me and come out at night
when I turn jet black and you show off your light
I live to let you shine
I live to let you shine

but you can skyrocket away from me
and never come back if you find another galaxy
far from here with more room to fly
just leave me your stardust to remember you by
stardust to remember you by

Dear God, where are you?

I am more determined then most realize to make this summer a good one. I am obsessed with my happiness and myself becoming everything of the word. I am going to do it with, or without Cody. With or without Gus. I am going to do it though. This Tuesday I did the unexpected, the one thing I thought I would never do. The unexpected carried on to the next day and I can't say I am the happiest about it because it has got me wanting it. It's not mine to want though. You, you are not mine to want.

Cody said today that God hates him, and that he can never be happy. I want his happiness. I want his love and to love him. I want him to be happy more then I want myself to be happy. I wish he new that. I wish he new that if he was with someone else, it would hurt. If it meant him happiness, it would be a hurt I am willing to feel. I wish he new that. I wish he would understand. I love him very much.

England has had the most confusing weather, but it is England, of course. I went to Greece for two weeks and got the most lovely tan. I am not going to hide the tan but show it off of course. I never liked my figure, my body, or anything about myself for that matter. So, now that I do I am going to make sure everyone knows when they see me. I have a nice tan.

I am finding happiness in things I shouldn't. God says no, but I keep saying yes. Why? Because I want it.
I need to listen to Joe.
I need to trust him.