There was not one misspelled word

I know that when she writes a blog, she never writes it to please anyone else. Every word that she wrote, though, made my stomach turn and turn. It is as though she is writing what in a year I will be going through. I hope that it doesn't last that long. That years and years to come I am still going to think about you every second. I couldn't deal with that for that long. It's really wierd. One second I am so happy about the situation, and I love being what I am that I am. Then, the next second, I'm just blah.
I just want someone new. I want someone to take my mind off of you, and all of this. I found some friends that help and I love them so much. Maybe I am just too scared of getting hurt again. Or maybe it's just that I don't want to move on. It's so hard when every day I still get the reminder of how you feel. How much you care and love me. I don't want you to. I want to be the one left on the curb. I feel so alone and yet I know that I have everyone, more people then I had before this happened. Maybe it is just the feeling of the moment. I think so hard about everything even though I tell myself not to. Yet, when I don't, I feel like I am making a mistake in one way or another. I don't want to be pushed around so much, but I allow it. I allow it to happen to me all over again and again. So, right now I am going crazy and I am worrying. What if something happens to you. What if this is all permanent.
I hate anxiety. Fuck you.


I really need to start taking Kev's advice. I am so dumb.